Since the beautiful refresh that Amanda at Studio Guerassio gave this blog a couple weeks ago, I’ve been cleaning up some old posts and recategorizing some things so that I can archive under three main themes moving forward: style, humor, and life. Y’all, going through some of those old posts nearly brought me to tears. I can remember feeling so incredibly sad and worthless, living in Boise in 2010. I remember living in Seattle in 2011, feeling so lonely and unconfident and in a horrible relationship with my body, just wishing that I could break away and be happy.
I remember moving to Austin in 2012, so happy to have made it out of a place that I never felt suited me, and so hopeful for the future.
I used to be so effing FUNNY. To me, anyway. I mean read this post, and this one, and this one over here. I love that I can look back on these old blog posts that maybe three or four other people but me have ever read, and laugh as though I’ve never read it before. I hope I never lose the ability to crack myself up.
Looking back at all this old content, I cry for sad, defeated Liz from years ago who had no idea how good it would eventually get. She was so CUTE, ya’ll, I mean look!
I remember this photo being taken, feeling so freaking self-conscious and mad at myself that I wasn’t at whatever goal weight I’d set for myself at the time. It was in April of 2010 on a visit to Seattle, when I made the decision that I was going to move there. I was working a full-time job in Boise and took another part-time job on top of that in an effort to save money for the move. I was also training for a half-marathon, a goal that seemed so lofty and impossible at the time. I ran my first half-marathon in September that year, and I’d go on to run four others after that.
Looking through all this stuff from years ago makes me wish I could go back and give that old Liz a hug, and tell her how beautiful she was and how proud I am of her. She came so far and accomplished a few things along the way, but she still feels she’s got a long way to go.
This blog has been plugging along for over seven years now, and if anything else it’s served as a living time capsule for where I’ve been. It’s been awhile since I’ve been out to a fashion show, or out to take street style photos, or even felt super inspired about what I’m wearing these days. I’d like to get back to that excited place again.
I’ve been feeling just sort of aimless lately, like I’m not sure what I want my next goal or big project to be. Invites to vision board workshops or New Year’s activities just leave me feeling cynical and out of place, like those aren’t activities that I’d be good for right now. I’m not sure where it’s coming from or why. 2016 has been largely a shit year for a lot of people, and though I can’t say it’s been entirely shit for me personally, some shit has definitely gone down that’s left me feeling less motivated and a lot more cautious than I used to be.
Maybe I’ll find my creative groove again in 2017. But until then, I’ll settle for some blog nostalgia and reminisce about the days I was fun and cute and motivated. Perspective sure does change a lot.