wedding planning update

When you get engaged, one thing that married people fail to mention is how the wedding will become the central (if not only) topic of conversation with your family, friends, and pretty much anyone else you interact with who finds out you’re getting married.

Here’s the thing. I love my partner in life. Being married will be the next step, a formalization of a life we’ve been creating together these last few years. 2017 has been great on a micro level, weird on a macro level but overall very much awesome and fun and I love being engaged.


I know I should be overjoyed at the idea of all of this, of even having the excuse to throw a fun party where all of our friends and family will gather to celebrate us. But I’m beginning to understand why people tell you “just elope!” when you tell them you’re in the process of planning a wedding. First thing’s first, the whole thing is kind of (really) a racket. You whisper the word “wedding” to anyone in retail and the price goes up by at least 50 percent, I swear. I’m convinced that the entire bridal industrial complex is one big gold-leafed Ponzi scheme designed to take all your money and leave you wondering what the hell just happened when you come out on the other side.

If I’m being honest, I feel more inconvenienced than excited about the wedding planning process. I’ve been distracted and, frankly, pretty busy this year. Between the trip to Japan, a full-time job, other creative ventures (check out Dad Doesn’t Know About This Podcast on SoundCloud!) and other random meet-ups and volunteering commitments, I’ve usually got a packed calendar. I’m not complaining: I love staying busy and having my hands in a lot of different things with lots of different groups of people. But wedding planning hasn’t been my number one priority.

It probably doesn’t help that I’m not exactly a “traditional” bride. I’m not a princess-cut, sweetheart-neckline, Pinterest-ready, curated-floral-arrangements kind of girl. The only diamond I wear on the daily is in my nose piercing. But in spite of a few eyeroll-inducing moments, there have been upsides and great experiences as well. Getting to hire my friends as wedding vendors is a real kick (more on that later!) and I’ve been pleasantly surprised at some other things I thought were going to be horrible, like the wedding expo we went to back in January (free cake goes a long way with me, I tell you). And I recently had an appointment at Blue Bridal Boutique in Austin that was legitimately a great time: low-key and lovely sales staff, honest feedback, and I did try on a gorgeous dress that has me rethinking whether I want to have something custom made for the big day.

To be sure, these wedding updates are about as close to ‘lifestyle’ posts as I’ll ever get. My disdain for wedding what-have-you abides, but I’m coming around to certain things. It also helps that we have nearly a year until the wedding (March 2018!) so I’m not forced to take on every piece of this all at once. My fiancé has been as supportive and helpful as ever: he loves the analytical component of it all, making spreadsheets and such and he’s been right alongside me for vendor review and comparisons and decision making. Plus he puts up with me when I want to quit and burn it all to the ground, so there’s that. Every couple needs at least one level head, am I right?

That about brings us up to current: more to come on the wedding front during the next several months I’m sure, so stay tuned if you’re into that sort of thing. If you have solid recommends in the Austin area for custom dressmakers, officiants, and decor-type rental companies and services, holler at me in the comments!

2 thoughts on “wedding planning update

  1. Liz Hanks

    Yes, wedding planning can be such a money-sucking nightmare. But the party is fun! And you get to make it the most freaking awesome party ever, as YOU interpret that. I wish I could go back and live through ours again as a guest. Anyway, tons of vendors I could mention to you, but specifically we loved our officiant and I think you would like her too. She meets with you, gets an idea of you as people, how you feel about religion and commitment, and then sends you some examples that you can check out or even piece together. I took pieces from three of her samples and wove them together in a way that spoke to us and she was totally on board. She also helped me get through almost crying like an asshole for the entirety of our vows, so I’ll love her forever. Check out her page (Sarah):

    Two more names: Amy’s Ice Cream will send a cooler and a person to serve for an amazingly low price. Hector Ward and the BigTime is the best band ever and will play weddings. I know you have strong feelings about music…they have lots of horns. Intrigued? 🙂

    P.S. do the blog as long as it makes you happy, but FWIW, I do enjoy hearing your voice (whether in print or on audio with your lovely brother). I admire that you do it.


    1. Liz

      ‘Money-sucking nightmare’ is an apt description! Thanks so much for the tips. We’ve got decisions made and just a few more left to make… I just want the thing to be done already at this point. And I do want to make sure we actually slow down and enjoy it– I keep hearing from brides “I was so busy at my wedding, I didn’t even get a piece of my own wedding cake!” THAT IS CRIMINAL. I would rage if that happens. Thank you for the encouraging words on this project, too: I’ll keep writing if others keep reading!


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