When I started this blog eight years ago, I had no way of knowing what style blogging would become, and I really don’t think anyone could have predicted it either. All I wanted was an outlet for writing and talking about clothes, and that’s the purpose it’s served over the years. Every several months or so, I think about just shutting this thing down entirely: I’ll get really busy or just burned out on wanting to write about anything and question why it is I keep this blog up in the first place.
Blogging has changed SO MUCH over the years; it’s kind of (really) incredible to look back and see how it’s evolved. Over time, blogging has gained a lot more respect as a medium and is now considered a marketing essential (if you’re a business owner of any size, there’d better be a blog component to your web presence!) There are bloggers out there who have turned their blogs into empires, bringing in the type of cred (and the cash flow) to support a full-time staff. But like everything else, blogging has its dark sides.
Fellow style-blogger-in-arms My Boring Closet published this post a couple weeks ago that articulates so many of the same feelings I’ve been experiencing about this whole blogging thing. Austin blogger and overall rad human Nicole at Writes Like a Girl just wrote earlier this week about burnout, depression and comparison that I related to so hard. More and more, other bloggers are opening up about their struggles with it, so it’s almost comforting to know I’m not alone. It’s hard to not have feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy when it comes to sharing a part of yourself on the internet, if even a small part.
Instagram can be fun, but it can also become a cesspool of awfulness and a big source of anxiety and inadequacy, which sounds stupid but doesn’t make the feelings any less real. It seems more and more ridiculous to post photos of fun, fluffy things and outfits when it seems like the world around us is becoming more dangerous and unpleasant to live in every day. But the weird catch is, sometimes it’s those fun, fluffy things that help us get through the day and remember that life can be delightful, too.
So that’s where I’m at, just feeling ambivalent about whether to keep this thing going. Wondering if my words matter, if anyone reads this or cares. But against all probable odds, and defying my own tendency to quit things when they stop being fun, I keep going. Perhaps this blog will take (another) turn. Maybe it’s just time to rebrand, rethink, reconsider. Who knows. But for now, that’s what I’ve got.