Ahoy, dear friends and followers! I’ve gone and let the month of January pass by without so much as a blog post: it’s become an unfortunate theme this past year and one I plan to rectify in 2018. There’s been lots of life crap happening for me lately: recovery from hip surgery, wedding planning, and as of almost a week ago I’ve left my corporate job and am free as a bird from the shackles (and benefits) of full-time employment.
I know what you’re thinking: but Liz, didn’t you do this already? And didn’t your little life pivot lead to somewhat disastrous results? Yes and no. When I left my job in 2016, I wanted a life break. I anticipated coming back from Colombia relaxed, rejuvenated, full of hope and life and would somehow have been able to intuit what it was I was supposed to be doing with the rest of my life after that experience. When that didn’t happen, I got scared. I came home disappointed and depressed, and was desperate to jump back into the life I’d left behind and forget that the previous six months had ever happened.
I took another corporate job. Life was okay for awhile. I did well at work, I got to travel and enjoy the things that a well-paying job can provide. But as time passed I kept circling back to the same feelings of emptiness and exasperation: I was doing something that I was ostensibly good at, and I had a “good job”, so why was I miserable?
Last summer was a turning point for me. After having made it through the worst bout of depression I’ve experienced while dealing with physical pain that continues to this day, it finally clicked for me that the two are probably connected (duh, Liz!) I also finally acknowledged my need to feel fulfilled and creatively invested in the work that I’m doing. I’m no longer comfortable resigning myself to a life of duality where my work doesn’t reflect my personal values and telling people what I do for work elicits feelings of shame and self-loathing.
So what’s next? For now, my focus needs to be on healing and my physical health. As frustrating as it is, it’s become very clear to me that if my health isn’t in order, nothing else can be. The next few months will be wedding stuff, physical therapy, and laying the groundwork for what’s to come.
I’m educated, I’m experienced, and, for the first time maybe ever in my professional life, I’m hungry. I’m passionate. I feel like I have a better grasp on what it is that I’m good at and can contribute to others to make the world better than I left it. And I’m not afraid to be the architect of my own career AND my own life.
Game on, 2018.